Hello there, yes, I am aware that I'm not a constant blogger, but I think I'll make an effort to. Or at least write something good for once.

Well since its holiday's and all, I'm bound to idle thinking and talking and as I was going through it all, theres one topic thats been bugging me for years. Faith.
So I shall argue with myself about this topic. Please comment.

Number one
Its been repeated again and again in my mind as I slowly think about the meaning. And to me faith is something we all believe in, whether its real or correct or whatsnot, its just that something thats unexplainable. Its something we refer to in moments of doubt, need of reassurance and hope. No dictionary can make you understand this word except for your own dictionary of understanding that is God given. I know I never did till now.

I mean, we're born into this world, and we're already decided on what faith we should believe in when we hardly know the meaning of faith itself. How do you expect one to feel content and feel self actualized when they hardly know what they believe in? I know we go for religious classes and whats not, but do you realise that when you open a textbook of said class, they don't make you come to terms with your faith but actually just give principals of it.

Number Two
I guess we all have to come to terms with it by ourselves, without the help of a textbook. But then again isn't that what they are trying to do? Trying to put the settings on our minds to listen to the textbooks and them without actually coming to terms with it ourselves? Whats the use of wearing a tudung if your only doing it to get through in school? Whats the use of understanding the religion's principals without doing it with your own faith but with someone else's forcing? You'll end up doing it for someone else, not God.

Number Three
One more thing, prejudice against other faiths. How did this happen? We all are turning so superficial, so what if we think and know in our own faith that its the "right one"? Good for us then, don't have to make an enemy of everybody else. I still remember being "warned" to not befriend a friend of another faith by a girl. I didn't listen to her ofcourse, I found it ludicrous, but what happened? I didn't have any friends and went to recess alone that school year. And that's not counting the warning I got for joining the Interact Club and sending someone a balloon for Vday from a teacher in school this year.
I was in a chat with someone and she said the f-ing word along with God. Okay maybe it doesn't actually matter since she didn't mean it, even I accidently say it sometimes without meaning it, and I asked her what she meant and she said Oh I don't mean our God, I mean't the Christian's God.

Sorry to say this in my blog, but don't you realize that this is prejudice? Prejudice against other's faith? It may be a different faith but its the same God we're talking about here in Islam and Christian and Judaism. All in all it's God's creation and theres no hurt in respecting it.

Oh well.Who am I to preach?

I know this is a controversial subject but I need something to get out of my system.

As the chords were pressed and gently stroked,
the child in me it evoked,
all of my senses were in the beat and i ended in a trance,
I was lost without a mind, I was following you in your dance.

We got closer and all of my senses were working in hyperdrive,
the beats and hymms all turned alive,
i felt your lips on mine,
we've done it,
we crossed the line.

A fantasy it was, as sooner as I pulled away you were gone,
your eyes were nowhere to be seen, the deejay disappeared,
in the empty club i was all alone,
making me feel guilty that this even occured.

A daydream it is. A fantasy. We all go through it some time in our hormone laden lives. I on the other hand tried to write a poem about getting lost in the music like i usually do during Coldplay's Clocks but it ended up like this. Oh well.

Have you guys ever had a dream that felt so real you could feel every single emotion in your chest? Well all dreams are like that but like really really? The ones when you wake up your like "Oh God, how did my mind even think/create that?!"

Isn't it amazing? How our subconcious mind creates things we didn't even realize and sometimes didn't even admit in real life. That it creates scenes and places that we would never think of in real life. That its such a complicated sketch of drama that lasted probably 2 hours and it felt too real to let go. Amazing isn't it? How we were given a mind that was possible of making and creating things up. What more, a mind that is possible of making and creating things up when we're asleep.

It makes us think doesn't it? How detailed and cool every single atom and neutron in our body is special. How we are truly blessed to feel all of this all.

Heres my theory for today, " Despite all the knowledge we get as we grow older, we are turning more stupid".Okay, don't throw tomatoes and cabbages at me just yet.

I'm not saying that we are turning dumb or anything, but we are turning less obervant. A child would have passed by the street and say how many cars were parked there, yet an adult or teenager would have just taken it for granted and not care about it.

A child has more reasons eventhough some of them are obsolete. They look at patterns easier than adults, they give a brief statement that is true eventhough truth hurts. They don't go on trying to please anyone when speaking their minds.

They are detailed. They look at things and draw things that some of us don't even care or notice about. Lets say if there was a murder and there were 2 witnesses, a child and an adult, its obvious the child would be a better witness.

I noticed this as I age. I noticed I was getting even more oblivious and ignorant to this world than I was when I was 11 or 10, or even before that. That when I paint my elements arent as detailed as they were when I was a child. That I am changing for the worse, eventhough i am changing for the better, as I age.

Ding dong. Anyway.

Art sucked. I usually love art nomatter if its an exam or nething but I couldn't get my strokes right, my under wash was too thin, my foreground was too dark, i couldn't get the right stroke and I got paint spilt all over my pastels. I'm still kinda peeved with Hanis... My bruuuusshhH! Heh, I'm just not used to sharing.

Geo was a killer. But it was easier than sejarah since I didn't feel stupid and sweaty like thursday. But it wasn't as suicidal as maths.

So geo was okay relatively speaking. I just bantai a few questions. The others were fine.I was crawling in the dark doing some, my mind arguing all the points so I can reassure myself it was the right answer. Riiiighttt, logic versus fact. Hoohaa.

Have any of you found blog comment posts annoying at times? I tried commenting and it was slow so i thought it didnt get it like some of the commands on my comp, so it just doubled it! Grr.

How are you guys? I'm good. I'm alive. I'm so dead. I have a geo exam tomorrow. I've not memorised the banjaran's ketinggians which i have asked around and found out that only my batch of form ones have to do so. Well not sure bout last year's. So you see, I am dead. I read a very good book worth mentioning that day, its called The Curious Incident Of the Dog in the night-time. Its about this autistic kid and its a really fun read.

Damn, he knows about malaysia's highest point and I don't. That shows that I need to get the books out. Well geo books. But after 12.30 tomorrow, I don't have to bother myself to read a geo book for the next 2-3 weeks. Breathe in Ainaa. Just one more day. ONE MORE. Then on Monday I've got English Paper One and Living skills. Then, [quoting Prince], "Lets party all night coz its ninety ninety nine"

But its not. Its 2004.

Yes... I've not updated. Well heres the 411
a) I got a new bed and switched new bedrooms since my sis is coming back. So I've moved into my old office with Eddie so everytime I wake up, after I go down the bed ladder, I see my dear flat screen hubby. Awww. Yeap, I got that Ikea loft bed coz it saves space and ... no, its not bad sleeping near the ceiling. And no, I did NOT bang my head on the ceiling NOR fell off the bed like my parents predicted.
b)I was ill and pretty much dead for two days. I sounded like a guy on the phone and my dad couldn't understand me when he called home. So when I came back to school, since my mum didn't let me go to school during those days of my fatal health, I HAD A TON OF HOMEWORK WAITING FOR ME and WE JUST LEARNT A NEW CHAPTER THAT WILL BE IN THE EXAM NEXT WEEK FOR SCIENCE! Unfair! Why did we JUST learn it?!! The exams NEXT WEEK AND I HARDLY UNDERSTAND IT THAT MUCH. *groan*
c)And pretty much nothing else.

As you can easily see, I am high on water and gatorade as I just came back from tennis so there is no time for beautiful words and proses of the beauty of life. Bek. Okaaay.. Tennis was good. I didn't hit the building at the side of the courts like I did last two weeks. And traffic lights were very nice to me today.
Have you guys ever felt that The Darkness is a bit.. funny? Well im addicted to their songs for some reason. Oh uh, pls don't let me turn into Grace . =P Well I was okay about it and actually found the songs stupid when I see it on tv, but when I heard this guy from one seroja,Adli singing it, I downloaded it and im addicted. And yes, Swing Swing by All American Rejects is SO STUCK IN MY HEAD. Thanx Anisah, thank you.

Sweet beginnings do arise She knows I was wrong The notes are oldThey bend they fold And so do I to a new love -Swing Swing- The All American Rejects

Wooooh! Amber is the colour of your energy, shades of colours spreading naturally- Amber, 311
Woooh, what a tiring day. Well woke up this morning lazing around like a slug, then we went to Bangsar for lunch. Why Bangsar you may ask? Well my mum wants to buy tix for that Sean Ghazi show, and I was like =| okaaaay....
Don't ask me why my mother suddenly wants to watch theatre, she even called TicketCharge to ask about Staurday Night fever!
And no freaking way am I going to let my parents spend $600 on tix just for some overrated show which doesn't even have a frikking storyline! Purleez. I don't know why I'm not at all ethusiastic about theatre these days, I was standing outside the box just now and I was feeling ashamed for God knows what reason. I guess I'm never gonna live up to my 10 year old ambition of being an actress as it died after me leaving. My mum must be so proud.

Well afterwards, we went back home and I bummed around till five, then went to Dhanusha's Suprise burpday party. Sadly, I got lost in USJ 13 (trying to find USJ 20) and I was a lil too late to scream HAPPY BURFDAY! when she came in. Daaaangiiittt!! Anyway, we were having a Tabasco Challenge between Izzan and I. We loaded lots and lots of Tabasco in our pizza (I put 30 drops) and we added seven drops of Tabasco in our drinks.

My lips were burning and believe me, Tabasco is corrosive. Tee hee.

The after result is being hyper, getting a temperature, and yes, moo-ing at the bufday girl and mistakening Grace for a goat. It was quite amusing being high, but I think I'll lay off Tabasco for a while. For the sake of my sanity.

Anyway, we went to Putrajaya and had dinner in Cyberview Resort where the lush landscape gardens have never failed to impress me. I had an ais kacang actually, I wanted to cool the Tabasco down but it didn't really cool myself down.Well then we stopped over Opah's house, and I fell asleep, I was like FLAT. I even slept in the car before that, and on the way home. But whenever I see Eddie, I can be high on Panadol for all I care, I just HAVE TO GO ON9. Teehee. I am such a geek.