In Memoriam

Death is never an easy thing; not just for the soul that leaves for the unknown collossal void out there, but also for those who stay behind.

I am spoken to about death nearly every week or so, as death and the fear of it is the chosen diet of imposing moral conformity in agama classes. I hear it all the time, how sudden and unpredictable death is, how one can be cut off from the world almost instantaneously; with no way back whatsoever.

I, like everyone else in the class, agreed but never realised the intensity of what we were being told. Probably only few who had suffered the lost of close family members knew fully of the massive blow, the fear and distress it is.

No one really saw it coming. As much as the odds were not on him surviving, only to the exception of what I thought as pessimists; pretty much everyone in the whole waiting room was looking forward to seeing him again.

You're greatly missed Yayang.

Birthday Letters

So this is it. This is when I shall sit down and look back on the good times and the trials which I have undergone in the past year, when I shall say that I am glad for all that I had experienced, for all it's worth; whatever the outcome. This is when I compare myself to the person I was a year ago; and frankly I do not see much difference but I know there is many.

When I turned eleven, the world opened up, somewhat almost suddenly; the bright lights just spread far and ahead into the asymptotes of the mind. I gawked and stared.
At twelve, I knew exuberance and energy to be something more. I hungered and learnt.
At thirteen, I had felt angst, the confusion and the sheer decadence of it all. I questioned.

And at fourteen, I learnt how to cope; I accepted my faults; tried to make peace. I grew to understand.

And now I hope.

Fifteen. I am in the want of something pure so much, so much more.

If God willing, then steadfast I shall be.